i cybered on omegle today
You: hi
Stranger: hey
You: wanna cyber
Stranger: Depends are you a girl? ;)
You: ya
Stranger: And okay then, you start?
You: i come into ur bedroom
You: and ur sleeping
You: and i crawl under your blanket
Stranger: I'm still asleep
You: u feel me pulling down ur pants
You: and u wake up and smile
Stranger: I kiss you gently, still sleepy
You: then i smile and open the scissors around your dick and snap them closed
You: cutting off your penis
Stranger: wait
You: THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR CHEATING ON ME
Stranger: Then what...?
You: I HATE YOU
Stranger: I didn't cheat
You: you bleed to death in your bed
Stranger: i didn't cheat on you. lets restart ok
You: nobody ever knows what happened
You: i flee to mexico with your Mercedes
You: the end
Stranger: I have a mercedes?
You: not anymore faggot
Your conversation partner has disconnected.
kalories:
i’ve had tumblr for years and i still don’t know what the fuck an rss feed is
(Source: thr-ill, via hopeforthebestplanfortheworst)
slayer-mills:
themusethatgrewfromboredom:
stable-girl:
paelmoon:
idohopeyoulikeapples:
Yeah but imagine if Once Upon A Time was on HBO though..


Run Henry, run! It’s porn..
lana + things: lana being lana; a.k.a. the most precious person on earth (3/3)
(via laughofthemedusa)
pixelated-roses:
Sometimes I just want to yell “SOMEONE TELL ME I’M NOT WORTHLESS” because that’s all I really need to hear, but then I’d look like an attention whore and I know no one believes that so I just sit and write like I always do